Friday, November 6, 2015

The Part of the Show Where I Rant about Blogging and Life

Guys, I have really missed blogging. That might surprise you. "Why Karis! You've been blogging twice a week on your other blog! What can you possibly mean??" What I mean is that, I miss being myself. I miss being able to write about whatever in the world I want and not caring what people will think when they read it. After all over here on my real blog if people don't like how I write, they just don't have to read it. And I'll never see them in real life. I am not a journalist. I have never claimed to be. And I never will be.

I am not a writer.

The only reason I ever write is not for writing itself. No, I don't enjoy plain old putting pen to paper like a lot of other bloggers do. I write because I want to talk about something I enjoy. Most of the time that ends up being horses or movies or Benedict Cumberbatch. (lol) And I miss that.

So true.:

I don't like it when people expect things of me that I am not. If people expect me to be a journalist, well you're just going to have to shop else where. If you don't like how I write, sorry, I am not changing anytime soon. Bye.


I'm in a mood for ranting, can you tell?

Let's continue. :D

You know, I am really quite bad socially. To be honest it is difficult for me to make friends. It takes me a long time to become comfortable around people. I am friendly enough I suppose, but when it comes to feeling at ease around people, it takes me a long time. I just have a hard time. I don't really know why. I think being antisocial is kind of part of my personality. But it is definitely something I am working hard to overcome. I mean, I want to make new friends. I want to hang out with people. But I just feel really really awkward and uncomfortable a lot of the time.

I am an introvert. I suppose that is a given. But I'm not particularly shy. Like I can pick up a conversation with people. Its more like feeling like you've been accepted. The little things in life are what gets me, like picking a table to sit at during lunch. I suppose I could even label this a little bit as social anxiety.


Perhaps I just feel out of control. I love predictable variables and people are often so very unpredictable. Perhaps it's even a deeper issue. Do I honestly think if they truly know me that they will accept me? I suppose these are good questions to ask myself. Honestly, I don't know. But I do know that I feel uncomfortable around people a lot. Given I've never been to school before, but man everyone else around me already seems to be best friends! And I'm back here like "Yes! Hurray! I ate lunch with someone today!" Sometimes I laugh at how pathetic I am. lol! I'm trying guys! I really am. But like I said above, there is only so much I can do to pretend to be someone I'm not.

Good grief. College is just ridiculous for trying to figure out who you are. I feel like I'm all over the map.


But the good news is that stress/depression/anxiety levels have definitely gone down. So that is a praise! I really do feel like as a whole I am in a pretty good place right now. The only thing I am complaining about today is people wanting me to be things I'm not. So in light of that, my life is not all that bad right now.

Anyways! I'm gonna quit writing now. Its been so great to talk to you all again! I have to say I do love all my true internet friends. Hope you all are having a great year! (And Happy Thanksgiving to my American friends!)


  1. I'm a total introvert and I know exactly how you feel!!! :) And I think you write very well!! ;) lol

  2. Oh deary, this is exactly what I've been missing hearing from you!! Your college blog is so well organized and timely and eventful (and of *course* soo well written!), but those posts don't share much about you and what you're thinking. It's good to hear from the good ol' Karis self. :)

    The introvert friend struggle is real, girl. I feel ya. I'm not a true introvert, I don't think, but I do find it hard to connect with people on a deeper level than acquaintanceship. So, I "can" feel at ease with just about anyone, but I almost always have the underlying belief that they don't care about me... So I really find it hard to fully place my trust in a friendship.

    Anyways, I'm so glad you found the time to blog your heart out, and know that I'm praying for you as we enter the final third of the semester. :):) Also, we need to skype because I miss yooooooouuuuuuuu. ^_^

  3. Hey Karis!

    I hope you realize how loved you are by so many people. I may have a hard time expressing myself and my true feelings, but you truly are one of the best friends in my life!

    And the struggle is so real. I feel in much the same place as you relationship-wise, mostly because I'm a transfer and don't really fit in with the freshmen... but I don't fit in with the upperclassmen either because they already have well-formed friendships. And yeah, it frustrates me when I see people who have been to college for, like, a couple months and are already BFFLs with other students. But I think more people struggle socially than outwardly let on that their struggling...

    Sorry, this is a really long comment, because once I actually start writing I just keep rambling...

    Thanks for sharing your heart on here, and I hope to see more posts on this blog if you have time. (What is this "time" thing anyway??? It sounds nice!)


    P.S. I'm finding it funny that horses and Benedict Cumberbach are in the same category XD... LOL!!! I just tried to spellcheck "Cumberbatch" and it said "Cucumber"!!!

  4. Aw, you all are such dears. Thanks for your lovely comments!